Maryam Sanda who allegedly stabbed her husband, Biliyamin Bello, to death, did not only commit an offense that borders on culpable homicide, she has committed brutal Matricide. Matricide means killing of one’s husband. What is evident from all versions of reports about the ugly incident of Maryam’s matricide is that jealousy was the factor that triggered the crime; alleged infidelity is supposedly far from being behind it.
It is quite pathetic and saddening to know that the events that climaxed into the death of Biliyamin started with a fight after Maryam saw correspondences between her husband and another woman on his phone. Truly, jealousy is a natural part of any intimate relationship which is inherent in both men and women. It could be that Maryam was overzealouly jealous on that fateful day. To be candid, jealousy can weaken mental health and destroy social life. It breaks relationship. If a communication is interpreted through a filter of jealousy, one can easily misperceive common situations. And in extreme cases it can lead to verbal or physical abuse which may eventually result in the death of a partner.
One may not be wrong to say there are many Maryams who are so blinded by jealousy that they could do anything. The causes of jealousy vary from situation to situation, but all are associated with one feeling that something of value that they possess could be lost to another. The most important aspect of addressing jealousy is open communication. If it’s mutually discussed, the jealous person’s feelings or fear may be relieved. Greater intimacy, freedom and personal growth and liberation can be achieved if jealousy is addressed with maturity and calmness. Other jealous wives or wives-to-be should take caution lest they are bedeviled by jealousy monster.
The only antidote for jealousy is education, and parents are at the center. An enlightened parent, as an educator, is always on the lookout for effective educational means and basis for preparing children particularly, girls, religiously, morally, educationally, psychologically and socially. If the mother is untruthful, debauch, treacherous and jealous, the children will be brought up on lying, debauchery, treachery and jealousy. Hence, mothers should exhibit good moral character as girls mostly take after their mothers. Education of children should come in form of setting good example. This is greatly effective in the reformation or corruption of children. The concept of punishment should be taught right from childhood. There exist punishment for theft, adultery, robbery and murder. If the killing is in cold blood, the punishment for it is to be killed.
For mother whose girl child is of marriageable age, education about marital life is very crucial and significant. Before your daughter is given out for marriage, let her understand that a good wife is always keen to provide an atmosphere of peace, tranquility and stability for her husband. She stands by him at times of hardship, offering her support and wise advice. Thus, she should endeavour to remain the greatest blessing that God may bestow upon her husband and an incomparable source of joy because, “this world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman (wife)”.